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I had one friend tell me for years how much she hated her life. Despite my attempts to help her fix it, she continued to make poor decisions, constantly putting herself in less than desirable situations. Why do you bother? I asked myself. Good question, I answered, and stopped bothering.

The overly needy can be soaked up with the same sponge as martyrs and are just as easy to spot. Unfortunately, I sometimes fall into this category. Despite the quality of friendship I can offer, I am what you might call "high maintenance." For this reason, I wouldn't be surprised if many people have cleaned me out of their lives, unwilling to be part of the audience I occasionally require. This is always for the best. I can't stand to be around someone like me for too long. I'm a talkative bitch, and the spotlight can only shine on one person at a time. I can sit back and watch, but if someone is hoarding, monopolizing, and annoying, I will not hesitate to produce a cane from the side curtain and pull the pest off my stage.

Honestly, I'm astonished that people actually want to be my friend. But for those who do, I will strive to meet my own requirements and offer laughter, kindness, insight, and inspiration. As for the nonreciprocal few, it's time to fetch the cleanser and clean house.

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