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His name was Steve, and he worked at the Monster Manor and also does singing telegrams. (I think his business is in Temecula.) I asked if his business was hurt by computers. I read stories that, with so many people e-mailing, the post office has lost a lot of business with first-class letters. I imagine that would probably hurt his business as well.

He said it had, but he still gets enough jobs. I said, "Most people get embarrassed if the waiters sing 'Happy Birthday' to you at Friday's. Don't people get embarrassed when you come to their door to sing?" He said, "Sometimes. I've had some people shut the door on me. Oftentimes, people hire me to sing at their work or a restaurant. And if the person runs away, I'll just continue to sing for the crowd."

One woman had giant breasts made for her shirt. I heard one guy say to his wife, "You can't get mad at me for looking at that. It's just a costume." When a guy dressed up as a priest walked by her, he said to all of us, "You guys better all come in for confession tomorrow. I see what you're staring at."

I looked at all the tables in the back yard. One bowl had various plastic body parts. Next to it was a machine that said "Lorena Bobbitt Wringer Washing Machine." It had a body part next to it. One guy grabbed it and said, "This is what happened when we got married, dear."

One of the eyeballs on the table looked real. When I touched it, the stickiness of it grossed me out, but not enough to keep me from touching it again.

I asked how they would clean up all the fake blood. Mary said, "We use general all-purpose cleaners. We have 409 and Windex. We don't do it all the next day. We take our time cleaning."

When I was standing by one of the two fire pits, I was looking out toward the canyon. I remembered how, at a wedding party I went to in Julian, they told me the canyons made the noise worse for the neighbors on the other side. When I asked about this, Chas told me, "The cops showed up at 10:00 p.m. I thought that was kind of early for them to tell us we were too loud. It's the Saturday night before Halloween. I think our neighbor may have called; I'm not sure."

Crash your party? Call 619-235-3000 x421 and leave an invitation for Josh Board.

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