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Matthew Alice:

There are street names for the first seven presidents: Washington (Hillcrest), Adams, Madison, Monroe (Normal Heights), Jackson (San Diego, La Mesa), with the exception of Jefferson. Why no Jefferson?

-- Carrie Hart, Normal Heights

No, Carrie. The question is, why no Millard Fillmore? In San Diego County there are, in fact, streets bearing the names of every president from Washington to Clinton -- from the Father of His Country to the Very Close Personal Friend of His Country (who feels your pain and, apparently, other things, given a chance) -- with the exception of Millard Fillmore. Yes, we have a Nixon, an Eisenhower, a Reagan, Bush, Kennedy, Ford, Truman, Taft, et cet. And we're full up with Jeffersons: Chula Vista, El Cajon, La Mesa, Escondido, Vista, Carlsbad, Lemon Grove, Oceanside, Jamul, and out back of the Sports Arena somewhere. But Millard's notably absent. Well, he was never elected to the office, and he was the unlucky 13th president -- especially unlucky for us when he turned out to be pretty much of a dud. So maybe we can do without him.

As long as we're at it, what do San Diego's streets say about the 2000 election? (If our record's to stay intact, we can't risk having somebody named Schwarzenegger on the ballot.) Mr. Potatoe Head probably gave up the race when somebody tipped him that we don't have a Quayle Street. Ditto Liddy Dole. And we'd better break the bad news to Orrin Hatch, too. What developer would dub a slab of high-priced asphalt Gore Road? So Al's out. He might as well quit politics entirely. Donald Trump is out too, though he'll probably swoop in at the last minute, build a street, and name it after himself. Which, street-wise, leaves us with Bush, Bradley, McCain, Forbes, Buchanan, and Beatty (Warren). Remember all this when you go to the polls.

Speaking of George Washington and Bill Clinton, did you know we twice had a vice president named George Clinton? What a wigged-out, groovy administration that must have been.

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