Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Why doesn't the Reader use staples?

Straight to the Lip:

Two questions concerning your fine publication. 1) Why are there no staples in your paper? Seems like the Reader always wants to fall apart. Staples are cheap. They would make your paper more better. 2) If I repeatedly lick the black ink off my fingers from reading the Reader, will I die of lead poisoning?

Sponsored
Sponsored

-- Neomarxist, the Net

Hey, good news! The Reader, like practically every other newspaper in the universe, uses soybean-based ink. According to the staff of the Matthew Alice Testing Lab and French-Nail Salon, you get 50 percent of your recommended weekly protein if you eat pages 1 through 60! (Duncan's column is particularly high in niacin and bioflavinoids.) We're low octane, but lead free.

Staples are cheap. They're also slow. And when you're a hard-hitting newsrag, you need to write it, print it, fold it, get it on the streets. No time to tidy up all the edges and add staples for finicky readers. Spread it out on the floor, Neo. You'll be glad you did. Besides, first it's staples, next you'd want a centerfold to go with 'em. Or those gawdawful perfume samples. There'd be no end to it. We're veterans of the game. We know a more worse idea when we see it.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Not enough Readers in Mission Beach

Mayor Todd Gloria's skin color

Straight to the Lip:

Two questions concerning your fine publication. 1) Why are there no staples in your paper? Seems like the Reader always wants to fall apart. Staples are cheap. They would make your paper more better. 2) If I repeatedly lick the black ink off my fingers from reading the Reader, will I die of lead poisoning?

Sponsored
Sponsored

-- Neomarxist, the Net

Hey, good news! The Reader, like practically every other newspaper in the universe, uses soybean-based ink. According to the staff of the Matthew Alice Testing Lab and French-Nail Salon, you get 50 percent of your recommended weekly protein if you eat pages 1 through 60! (Duncan's column is particularly high in niacin and bioflavinoids.) We're low octane, but lead free.

Staples are cheap. They're also slow. And when you're a hard-hitting newsrag, you need to write it, print it, fold it, get it on the streets. No time to tidy up all the edges and add staples for finicky readers. Spread it out on the floor, Neo. You'll be glad you did. Besides, first it's staples, next you'd want a centerfold to go with 'em. Or those gawdawful perfume samples. There'd be no end to it. We're veterans of the game. We know a more worse idea when we see it.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Celebrate Holi, Borrego Springs Music Festival

Events March 23-March 27, 2024
Next Article

Tyler Farr, Blue Water Film Festival, Mustache Bash

Events March 21-March 23, 2024
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.