One afternoon Italo tries to drag me over to UCSD. It starts in the courtyard of his compound in Pacific Beach, amid the blue fountains covered with wandering animals and the tables full of wrought-iron vases.

Back in those heady days at college — before engagement, before marriage, and before Fin — I helped Deirdre through a stressful study session by reading her Freud on feces. We were in a classroom, …

Matt-o-Matic: At the end of the Frank Toyota commercials that have been airing in the mornings on KOGO, there is a little girl who knocks on some sort of wood and asks, "Is that you, …

Dear Matt: I've lived in Manhattan Beach and San Diego and noticed the same thing at sunset at both locations. The seagulls always flew south at sunset in M.B., and the seagulls and pelicans do …

Dear Mr. Alice: This conspiracy theory-addled, vegan-activist dork I work with tried to tell me the item called "natural flavorings" in ketchup/catsup is pig's blood. But "natural flavorings" are in so-called vegan ketchup too. Would …

Dear Matthew Alice: I've recently purchased a lovely new toaster from my neighborhood Target. My toaster has two-slice capability, but I noticed there is a designated slot for the toasting of only one slice, and …

Matmail: I'm afraid you'll have to fire the elf who told you that butterflies are called "Milchdieb" in Germany. I've lived there most of my life and never heard that expression. The German word for …

It's eight o' clock Saturday morning at the Tijuana train station, and the locals gather to gawk at 250 gringos, most outfitted with expensive cameras and video gear, waiting for a ride. The Tijuana station …

To recap from last week: I wrote 108 state and federal prisoners who had posted personal ads on the World Wide Web (www.pennpals.com/, www.inmate.com/, and www.cyberspace-inmates .com/). What follows is the text of my letter. …

A Sunday story by Union-Tribune reporter Phil LaVelle on Proposition A, the taxpayer-financed convention-center-expansion measure on June's city ballot, left out a couple of key facts. The U-T story insisted that "the plan calls for …