11:12 a.m., March 5
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2
Oh, alas. The fevered emotion of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1 — the one where teen bride Bella (Kristen Stewart) and her ageless vampire suitor Edward (Robert Pattinson) get married, get down, and get into trouble when the hybrid fetus that results from their love begins to threaten her life and attract the attention of Jacob-the-werewolf-who-used-to-love-Bella — has cooled here, and the ensuing chill stiffens the joints of an already creaky affair. Bella is a full-on vampire now — red eyes, blood-thirst, insatiable sex drive, funky superpowers, the works. The awful-great love story is over; all that remains is to defend the family against an outside threat: power-hungry imperialist vampires willing to use the danger posed by The Unknown Other as pretext for a preemptive strike. (We even hear the term "weapons of mass destruction.") The Other in question is the hybrid offspring Renesmee, who grows very quickly but never manages to become a character in the process. Most of the film is spent in preparation for a showdown, complete with backstory flashbacks and training scenes. Then there's a showdown. Then there's a huge emotional cheat. Then there are some endings. With Taylor Lautner, Dakota Fanning, and a great many other people. 2012.
- "Amazing Grace and the Maestro" • November 14, 2012