Scott Marks 12:30 p.m., March 22
The appeal of Ice Cube (Trespass, Three Kings) as an action star began to thaw somewhere around the time of Torque and the two Are We Disinterested Yet? kidpics. Drive Along is enough to put the freeze on any man’s career, preferably that belonging to Mr. Cube's co-star, chatterbox Kevin Hart. To prove himself worthy of marrying Detective Cube’s sister, an excitable high school security guard/avid gamer (Hart) spends a day in the passenger seat of his future-brother-in-law’s cop car fielding every dirty call on the docket. Hard-to-take Hart gets off one audience busting line; the rest of his improv-babble is ferociously unfunny. Comatose Cube’s phonetic dialog transcription could land him a role in an upcoming David Mamet production. Even once storied director Tim Story (Barbershop) can’t whip anything fresh into this beat up buddy picture. Wait for television. 2014.