Piranha 3DD 0.0 stars

Piranha 3DD movie poster

A sequel to the reboot, but not a reboot of the sequel to the original. Instead, a barely-there story (as opposed to the swimsuits, which are often not there at all) about piranha invading a tawdry water park. (Are there really other kinds?) It’s okay, though – you’re not here for the story. You’re here for sexualized violence, with plenty of bloodshed and gross-out humor. You won’t be disappointed. Or, if you’re here for the cameos – David Hasselhoff, Ving Rhames, Gary Busey, Paul Scheer – you won’t be disappointed, either. And as a bonus, David Koechner glistens as a scuzzball horndog villain. 2012.

Matthew Lickona

This movie is not currently in theaters.

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