Matthew Lickona 2 p.m., March 24
A sequel to the reboot, but not a reboot of the sequel to the original. Instead, a barely-there story (as opposed to the swimsuits, which are often not there at all) about piranha invading a tawdry water park. (Are there really other kinds?) It’s okay, though – you’re not here for the story. You’re here for sexualized violence, with plenty of bloodshed and gross-out humor. You won’t be disappointed. Or, if you’re here for the cameos – David Hasselhoff, Ving Rhames, Gary Busey, Paul Scheer – you won’t be disappointed, either. And as a bonus, David Koechner glistens as a scuzzball horndog villain. 2012.
- Big Screen Review • June 1, 2012