Matthew Lickona 2 p.m., April 15
How do you know it’s a Liam Neeson action film? Simple: there’s a picture of his daughter taped beneath the sun visor of his car. Neeson stars as booze-soaked flying cop who begins receiving midair death texts from a fellow passenger. While no fictional relative of Neeson was hurt during the making of this picture, there is a surrogate daughter on board to provide sickeningly unwarranted pathos. Fun at the start, but after about 40 minutes, all logic is sucked from the cabin quicker than Gert Frobe’s climactic exit from Goldfinger. Book a first class seat for George Kennedy, throw in a few more C-list stars, and they could just as well have and called it Airport '14. And who says that movies aren’t educational? It will cost you $11.50 to learn how to get around smoke detectors next time you need to grab a midflight butt. 2014.