New Year's Eve 0.0 stars

New Year's Eve movie poster

Another holiday slaughtered, processed, shrink wrapped, and shipped to market by director Garry Marshall (Valentine’s Day). Another massive cast (Ashton Kutcher as the world’s prettiest grubby hipster, Katherine Heigl as a jilted caterer, etc.), another whirlwind of plotlines and significances: birth, death, first kisses, dreams come true, marriage, romance. Was anything left out? If so, it wasn’t for lack of trying. Why, there’s even a horny grandpa! Michelle Pfeiffer provides perhaps the film’s only honest moments as a disappointed doormat with a list of resolutions. 2011.

Matthew Lickona

This movie is not currently in theaters.

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