Matthew Lickona 2 p.m., March 24
From the producers of Underworld and one of the the scripters responsible for Pirates of the Caribbean come...frankly, if that ignominious ancestry doesn’t scare you off, nothing will. After centuries spent battling anonymous creatures, Frank Jr. finds himself in the middle of a confrontation between the gargoyles and the demons. More comic book hanky-panky aimed at undemanding gamers who don’t like it when storytelling gets in the way of their visual effects. The gargoyles are bivouacked on the far, far outskirts of London in the candlelit Notre Dame Cathedral. (More than 200 years fighting amongst themselves leaves little time for these critters to discover the miracle of electricity.) Fanboy sweetheart Aaron “Two-face” Eckhart is called upon to don another grisly guise, minus the green veneer and matching collar bolts, and roughhouse in the company of gargoyles. The actor makes no attempt to sound or act like a 200-year-old melange of spare body parts found lying around the lab. Wait for iPhone. 2014.
- "I, Frankenstein? Wait for iPhone!" • January 29, 2014