Most guys pass out after a spirited round of lovemaking. Not this guy. Incapable of replacing fantasy with reality, porn addict Don Jon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) can’t wait to knock off a one-night stand and scurry to his computer for some quality alone time. It’s very hard to make a smart film about intrinsically stupid people and much of JGL’s first tour as writer-director plays like outtakes from The Jersey Shore. Scarlett Johansson gives her finest performance in almost a decade as the gum cracking goomara who won’t allow his laptop to substitute for her lap. Julianne Moore is equally as appealing as the MILF who might be just the right incentive needed for our hero to go cold jerky. Levitt’s rudimentary direction and facile characterizations simulate porn with better dialog and less skin. If a tread-upon variation on Saturday Night Fever with fucking as a substitute for disco is what you desire, you are in the right multiplex. (2013) — Scott Marks