Matthew Lickona 1 p.m., March 7
Tim Burton’s tiresome tribute to the TV goth soaper, with Johnny Depp fully committed as the heavily made-up vampire Barnabas. Their devotion is real, but the film is a rummage of poor gags and plot fragments that add up to little. It has campy design touches, corny creep-outs, vivid women (Michelle Pfeiffer, Bella Heathcote, witty Helena Bonham Carter, vampy witch Eva Green), and an aura of wasted expenditure. With Jackie Earle Haley, Christopher Lee, and a tiny cameo by the late Jonathan Frid, the definitive Barnabas. 2012.
— David Elliott