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Big Screen Entries for July, 2013

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Casting Katy Perry's Blade Runner sequel the right way.

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So Katy Perry announced that she'd like to play Rachael in Blade Runner 2, because of course: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/31/50409/ But wait, you say: Blade Runner 2? Of course. The alternate ending from the "Final Cut" kind of leaves it open, no? …

HERE IS...

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It's been a long time since I've tingled. I like tingling. Tingling is good. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/31/50406/

Everyone complains about the weather...

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...but nobody makes a movie about it. (The Day After Tomorrow doesn't count.)

Remember The Lorax? Pulled in around $350 million worldwide while smilingly castrating one of Dr. Seuss's more urgent moral messages: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot/ Nothing is going to get better. It's not." Why do I …

Dept. of Final Bows: Jonathan Winters and Orson Welles

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Let's inaugurate this consideration of final film roles with a couple of gentlemen who would undoubtedly have appreciated the absurdity involved, shall we? I mean, Jonathan Winters was never what you'd call a Hollywood star, but by gum, he helped …

4th row center: Begging for a movie

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He was a big, baby-faced dude; the needle would make several round trips whenever he set foot on a scale. Homeless? Not sure. His clothes were clean and even in the sweltering summer months, one never detected a trace of …

Q: How many times did Helen Keller meet Charlie Chaplin?

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A: Never. They told her it was Buster Keaton. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/30/50360/

When you wish upon a fish

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Yesterday, I spent two hours of my life mocking up this ingenious poster for a fake remake of The Incredible Mr. Limpet starring Bob Filner. (The folks over at the Pulitzers have my forwarding address.) In the eyes of many, …

Trailer Park

Trailer Park: Paul Schrader's The Canyons

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Ask Paul Schrader a question. Details inside.

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/30/50318/ Paul Schrader has a new film opening and guess who snared an interview? That's right: Lickona! No offense, but that'll be the day! During the production, the tabloids made much ado about The Canyons. Schrader did not write the …

Gaslamp's 40 Foot Film series pays tribute to Cinerama...sort of

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http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/29/50236/ This month's 40 Foot Film series at Reading Cinema's Gaslamp 15 continues its tribute to Cinerama. (Don't go in expecting 3 projectors and a giant curved lenticular screen and you won't leave disappointed.) The good news is every film …

Bob Filner offered role in upcoming Sea World film project

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Give me a place to stand on a local sex scandal and with Photoshop I will move the whole world. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/29/50214/

Top Ten Movie Mayors

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And I don't mean Louis B.

With San Diego Mayor Bob Fulfillner of every woman's dreams making national news, what's a local movie critic to do but capitalize on the craze by compiling a list of his favorite celluloid Mayors? http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/29/50197/ 10.) Reformed racketeer Patsy Gargan …

4th row center: The naked projectionist

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It was an unbroken string of 90 degree days. The auditorium of Chicago's Parkway Theatre was properly chilled, but outside in the lobby, the consessioneers had all they could do to keep the M&Ms from melting inside the display case …

Poster Time: Emily Blunt gets sporty, spacey

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You guys, I can't wait for this one. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/26/50119/ Kidding. It's really called Edge of Tomorrow. But I like my title better.

Oh, by the way: The Conjuring

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We were slow getting to this one, but get there we did, and you should, too. You know, if you're into that sort of thing.

Oh, by the way: Only God Forgives

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Look, I know we don't have a proper review of this dark little followup to Drive, but I have it on good authority that Only God Forgives is the latest candidate for Scott Marks's reverse Midas touch. If you're at …

New movie releases this week: Storm Surfers 3D, The Wolverine and more

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Scott really liked Storm Surfers 3D, but that's just because he spends so much time surfing himself. I kid, I kid. It's because he likes 3D. Kidding! Me, I liked Fruitvale Station, but that's just because it's good. (Though I'd …

In search of the Filner headlock

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Genius that I am, the comic possibilities of performing Photoshop surgery on a screencap of Moe placing Curly in a headlock were impossible to resist. Was there a headlock in either Grips, Grunts, and Groans or Punch Drunks? Was it …

Meet Dean Cropp, Storm Surfers 3D's underwater stereographer

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The most exciting 3D thrill ride of the summer contains no special effects and the only costumes these heros don are wet suits. Directors Justin McMillan and Christopher Nelius follow tow-surfing legend Ross Clarke-Jones and two-time World Champion Tom Carroll …

The Wolverine shows its roots

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Can you imagine what Chicken George would have done with those lunchhooks? He'd have been a walking rotisserie! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/25/50040/ Credit: Matt Kannenberg.

Judd Apatow to receive Visionary Filmmaker Award

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No, not from the Braille Institute, but our very own San Diego Film Festival! The "esteemed" director, writer, producer will be honored at a tribute gala on Thursday, October 3 at the Museum of Contemporary Art in La Jolla.

The limited stylings of Clutch Cargo

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If you don't know a Clutch Cargo from a manual transmission, please watch a minute or two of the following to bring you up to speed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAo8-YmVlN8 Atrocious, isn't it? This isn't limited animation, it's dead! Compared to Gumby, Clutch …

Anatomy of an ad campaign: North by Northwest

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This is the image that started it all: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/22/49854/ I turned 6 the day mom took me to Chicago's Loop Theatre to meet Pinocchio. After a birthday luncheon at Wimpy's, we spent the following hour standing in line. The image …

The Filner handshake

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Mayor Bob Filner and I have crossed paths on three occasions: once in the Gaslamp and twice in movie theatre lobbies. Our last encounter took place at Reading Cinemas Town Square. After picking out a ticket, I spotted Filner just …

Suena: Tijuana filmmaker offers look at art, music, and city

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Saulo Cisneros presents a feature-length documentary following the sights and sounds of Tijuana.

The guttural rumble of an un-muffled city bus. An electric sunrise crowning mountains beyond dense urban sprawl. The strangely-comforting coalesce of Fabuloso and sewage on a humid summer breeze. Tijuana careens in from every angle with an ever-changing onslaught of …

Sony's Midnight lawsuit has bright ending

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Woody not guilty of plagiarizing Faulkner's "Nun"

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/19/49538/ You're not going to believe this. The estate of William Faulkner took Sony Pictures Classic to court all over Woody Allen's winnowing a line of dialog from the novel Requiem for a Nun. Owen Wilson's character in Midnight in …

Movies opening this week: Un Flic, Still Mine and more

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Lots more

Look, I'm not saying you have to go see Un Flic this weekend. But Scott is. But if you still want to see something after Un Flic, you could do worse than Still Mine. Lush, emotional, sympathetic - apple pie …

You won't find this type of Jewish guilt at Kensington Video

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If you want to know why I so generously provide Fred Saxon with a plug whenever he performs, look no further than this photo he forwarded: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/19/49523/ The location of the incident remains a mystery and I'm guessing that "A. …

'Love Network' leveled as Jerry-less Telethon moves to ABC

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Once upon a time there was a Telethon, and the month before Labor Day saw a sudden rise in awkwardly cropped pictures of Jerry Lewis' head adorning boxes of Sara Lee pound cake in your grocer's freezer section. Jerry Lewis, …

Because Acting for Dummies is too literal

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Look, we've already gone after the trailer for Last Vegas. But if I had any clout whatsoever, I would keep this in mind for my YouTube interview series, Acting for Dollars. The whole joke of the show would be to …

Interview with Still Mine star James Cromwell

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Still Mine tells the story of Craig Morrison, an independent-minded old man who bumps up against the system when he sets out to build a single-story home on his property. (Craig's wife Irene has begun to suffer from dementia, and …

Saxon on sax

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Psssst! What are you doing a week from Sunday? Want to hang out in the park and watch a bunch of Relative Minors and Friends have sax? Get your smut-filled minds out of the gutter! We're here to help promote …

11 celebrity comedy teams we'd like to see

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This week all roads lead to the Ken Cinema

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Can't get tickets for Comic-Con? Lucky you! Instead of being taken at the Con, drop in on the double feature of double-crosses opening Friday at Landmark's Ken Cinema. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/17/49294/ Godard in 35mm? You should have already purchased tickets. A double …

Lickona's Lexicon: Geriaction

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Action movie starring old people, usually old people who starred in action movies before they were old people. Cf. The Expendables, Bullet to the Head, Red, Red 2, The Last Stand, etc.

Spielberg enters his Ford period

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First came Old Mr. Lincoln followed by news that Stevie and Tom Hanks will co-produce a third World War II miniseries for HBO. Now there's talk of Spiel expressing interest in a remake of The Grapes of Wrath. Isn't it …

Grown Ups 2 and cartoon sequel take in more money than Pacific Rim

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Call it the King Midas touch in reverse. My enjoyment of a summer blockbuster should give producers instant cause to begin fanning the aroma of flop sweat. Hollywood's insistence on using technology to supplant storytelling generally gives cause to make …

Movies opening this week: Pacific Rim, The Way, Way Back and more

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http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/12/49078/ "Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?" Okay, so Scott Marks liked Pacific Rim more than I did, as you can tell from this Facebook chat. And I liked The Way, Way Back more than Scott did, …

Who needs Kaiju and Jaegers when it's Bobby-D vs. Jay-Z?

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http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/12/49076/ After what he said about Bobby D., Jay-Z will be lucky to find work as a backup singer for Who's Bad. Where does Jay-Z-z-z get the balls big enough to take on (prior to 1996) the greatest actor of …

Interview with The Way, Way Back co-writers and co-directors Jim Rash and Nat Faxon

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The Way, Way Back tells the story of Duncan (Liam James), a pouty-slouchy teenage boy who heads off for a month's vacation at the beach house of his mom Pam's (Toni Collette) new boyfriend Trent (Steve Carell). It doesn't go …

Martin & Lewis address their critics

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Make that critic. Louella Parsons. Ms. Parsons was America's first movie columnist. Nowadays we shrug off punks like Justin Bieber using a janitor's bucket for a urinal, but back in the day, Parsons had to power to make or break …

The Way, Way Back to Facebook

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http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/11/48989/ Don't look now, but there's some chatter about the film over on another website.

Sloppy Moe to testify against Mayor Filner

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"I know something I won't tell, I won't tell, I won't tell. I know something I won't tell, it's about Bob Filner!" http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/11/48987/

Female trouble

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It ain't easy being a chick in Hollywood

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Trailer Park: Compulsion

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THIS SUMMER http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/10/48903/ BOOGIE NIGHTS' ROLLER GIRL AND http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/10/48904/ THE MATRIX'S TRINITY STAR IN http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/10/48905/ SOFTCORE LESBIAN PAY-CABLE THRILLER WITH http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/10/48907/ WHO IS GLAD FOR THE WORK AND http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/10/48908/ WHO STILL CAN'T BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY HAS TO SAY, "PEOPLE DON'T …

Trailer Park: Kristens go home again

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Hey, it's the trailer for The Lifeguard, in which Kristen Bell comes home from the big city at 30 (sorry, 29!) to live with her parents and figure out her life, and takes up with a much younger man. Hey, …

Clean the beach, see the movie, get Rimmed

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"Warner Bros. Pictures and Legendary Pictures Pacific Rim" holds cleanup in Mission Beach

Attention: there are rules for posting that come with this blog. The following edict arrived in the mail: "Please note, the official title is: WARNER BROS. PICTURES & LEGENDARY PICTURES PACIFIC RIM." You done ejaculated a marquee-busting mouthful! I'm all …

4th row center: The Corvette Summer rain check

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It was the only time in my life where I was given a rain check at the movies. The Lawrencewood Theatre was an efficacious, sensibly designed cement box located at the end of the parking lot at the Lawrencewood Shopping …

James Cameron continues the madness!

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Two of these photos contain actual quotes. Two do not. Which is which? First up, Spielberg and Lucas, founders of the modern blockbuster: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/08/48770/ Next, James Cameron, who ushered in the current wave of 3D filmmaking with Avatar: http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/08/48771/ On …

Shart: the Movie

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http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/08/48767/ Better than Crackle's Shart Week. It wiped up at the box office. I'll pick up review doody on this one, Matthew. Let's hope it's in 3D and Smell-O-Rama. Thanks to fellow crepitation connoisseur, Frank Howard, for drifting this my …

The Carpeteria: A brief pictorial tribute to Joe Pesci's 'hair'

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Good news! While paying a visit to the Walter Parks Thatcher Memorial Storage Facility, I unearthed my scanner and a box containing a few hundred of the thousands of original 8 x 10 stills in the vault. Please don't ask …

Still screaming over streaming

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This week's column calling for a boycott of streaming screeners brought at least one positive response, but before getting to that, I must thank my buddy John Dacapias for reminding me of the most heinous request of them all. There …

Comic-Con

Gam3rCon: Space Invaders Landing in San Diego

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Bay Area filmmaker documents collectors from the golden-era of arcade games.

Pac-Man. Donkey Kong. Space Invaders. Galaga. Many of us grew up on these names, but what happened to all of the old arcade games from the early ‘80s after they were retired from the Wonderlands and Chuck-E-Cheese’s of America? To …

Bruck you, Masked Man! 4 cures for the common Lone Ranger

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Were Matthew not brave enough to take two-and-a-half hours away from his lovely, remarkable family (and Wonder Dog, Oreo), The Lone Ranger would never have been reviewed in these pages. Two thoughts crossed my mind during the screening of the …

BOYCOTT STREAMING SCREENERS!

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When did it become a critic's responsibility to provide the screening venue? It's bad enough that 30% of the films I cover are shipped to me on a shiny disc to be viewed in my living room. I refuse to …

The Anxiety of Gaming Influence: are bloated blockbuster endings just a version of the Final Boss?

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Punching, punching, punching...still punching.

My dad loves Superman. He did not love Man of Steel. And boy howdy, was he bored during the final battle. Perhaps because he is a psychologist, he told me, "I would like to do a study on moviegoer's brains …

Bond bonding

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or, Will Military Folks Enjoy a Ludicrous Military Film, Even if it's Free?

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/03/48550/ So White House Down is performing below expectations. And now comes this: CULVER CITY, Calif., July 2, 2013 – On Independence Day, to thank America’s troops for their sacrifice and service, active military personnel and veterans will be admitted …

4th row center: King Kong

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By the time I was old enough to take the elevated train to Chicago's Loop, The Clark Theatre had all but died. Under the leadership of legendary Chicago movie theatre impresario, Bruce Trinz, the Clark was the forerunner of what …

Double features from hell: What Ever Happened to the Music Man?

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Oh, we got trouble!

"But you are, Harold. You are in River City!" http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/01/48390/

New comedy club inside Grauman's Chinese is no laughing matter

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The once-mighty Grauman's Chinese Theatre has fallen on hard times. The big Chinese was closed for renovation when I paid a visit last week. They're installing an IMAX screen -- the first ever on Hollywood Boulevard -- in hope of …

Why Citizen Kane flopped in Canada

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Folks in Victoria walked out after the short. Canuck-nyuck-nyuck! http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/01/48375/ What? It's Victoria, Texas? Never mind. http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2013/jul/01/48376/

The best corn in San Diego isn't popped in a movie theatre

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George's was a small candy store located next to Chicago's Nortown Theatre. In addition to the homemade fudge, taffy apples, and wrapped candy bars that lined the shelves, George had a giant popcorn-popper strategically placed in the front window. It …

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