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A rollover truck on Pamo Road in Ramona
Athenais - by your comment, "Sometimes people forget that we all have stuff in our lives, and nobody should diminish your tragedy because of it," are you referring to the part of Staci Thrasher's article that reads, "Detective Saussman then told me, 'I know what it’s like to lose a child. My daughter wrecked her car and died last year.' I was so angry at this point, I said, 'Really, you know what it’s like to lose a child! Your child died from her own mistake. My child was seduced by a 26-year-old man, taken out to the middle of nowhere for Lord knows what, and killed. So you might know what it’s like to lose a child, but you will never have a clue as to what it’s like to have a child taken from you.'"? She said this to a detective who was only doing her job and who also happened to be another mother who lost a child in a car wreck trying to let her know she understood what Staci was going through. Did Staci Thrasher consider that when she thoughtlessly lashed out at this person? I realize Staci was angry and frustrated at the time, but nowhere in this article does she apologize for those remarks or even acknowledge that she was out of line. Instead, she continues to blame everyone else. Everyone experiences tragedy at some point in life to some degree. What people who disagree with Ms. Thrasher are trying to say is that everything she is claiming in her article has no solid foundation other than the fact that Doug was a scumbag who should not have been in the company of high school girls unsupervised. Everything else from calling him a murderer, subjecting him to libel by handing out flyers about him, blaming law enforcement or even believing there was some conspiracy to cover the whole thing up is an attempt to detract attention from the root of the problem, which was Staci did not play an active (and possibly positive) enough role in Jadean's life to influence her and help her make decisions that would have kept her out of trouble. By not being more present in her life and aware of her usual activities and circle of friends, she was the one who put her own daughter at risk. Was she trying to be the “cool mom” by simply giving her a cell phone as a means of being present in her life while both of them go out to do whatever with friends? With that said, if it were one of Jadean's teenage friends, whom she might have also done drugs with, driving the truck when she died, who would Staci have to blame then? She couldn't accuse some 26-year-old loser for preying on teenagers nor could she blame law enforcement for trying to cover it up or not doing their jobs. It wouldn't change the fact that she was clueless to her daughter's actions. Jadean was out doing the same thing with this same guy for weeks prior to her death for heaven's sake. How could Staci not have known? Because she was always at work or out on one of her six-mile walks or getting hammered with friends that it didn't afford her time with her children?— June 10, 2008 11:35 p.m.
A rollover truck on Pamo Road in Ramona
After reading this article, the only ones I truly feel sorry for are Jadean Thrasher, her siblings, and Det. Saussman. Jadean died because of some bad choices. No one is perfect and all of us make wrong decisions at some point, but no one deserves to die because they wanted to have fun. In Jadean's case, the auto accident that killed her was the result of Doug’s irresponsible driving and Jadean removing her own seatbelt while the vehicle was in motion. What I don't understand is according to Shelby, the friend that was in the truck with them the day of Jadean's death, they were out for 4-wheeling. I am perplexed as to why anyone would remove their seatbelt while 4-wheeling? As for Det. Saussman, I completely and wholeheartedly sympathize w/the loss of her daughter in a car wreck. Regardless of whether or not it was an accident or "her mistake" as Staci Thrasher coldheartedly put it, her daughter did not deserve to die nor should the impact of her death be disregarded because there was no one else to blame as in the case with Jadean. I lost a nephew this past February in a car accident. He was driving to school in the rain when he lost control of his car and hit an oak tree. No drugs or alcohol were found in his system according to the medical examiner, and we have spoken with various people who saw the accident and pulled over to try and help him, all of whom confirmed he was not speeding or driving recklessly. Regardless, of the circumstances, he was taken from us, so I do feel Det. Saussman's (and Staci's) pain and loss. However, I say shame on Staci Thrasher for expecting others to feel her pain (as this does seem like a cry for pity) when she clearly insulted a detective who was merely doing her job and offering her condolences as a mother who also lost a child in a car accident, to the point of belittling the detective's loss as a parent. I read this article hoping to find common ground w/ Staci and her family, and possibly some healing for the pain and loss my family and I are still suffering. Instead, I found a mother who refuses to take any slack for the negligence which contributed to bad choices that put her daughter in a situation that led to her death. Simply giving a child a cell phone so you can call whenever you want while they’re out is not actively participating in their life. Furthermore, her response to sara_bellum that “being a single parent affords children WAY to much free time,” implying she did not have the luxury of spending regular time with her kids, is inconsequential in light of her “six-mile walks after work most days” and cutting her walk short on this day to have a few beers with friends. If spending time regularly w/your kids was a luxury you couldn’t afford, wouldn’t you spend time w/them if you cut your walk short? Anger and grief at the loss of a child is normal, but relentlessly pointing the blame at anyone and everyone you can (including law enforcement) is not healthy for all involved.— June 9, 2008 7:39 p.m.