Cover of this week's CityBeat

Why we published "Better Dead Than Red (State)," by Donald Androll, San Diego CityBeat

Looking back over our previous 49 articles on local Judge Gary Kreep — a man who is not only a Conservative, but who also has the last name of Kreep — we realized that our 50th would need to be something special. We were kind of hoping we'd be able to report that our tireless reporting had resulted in Kreep's removal from the bench, or at least some kind of forced reprogramming for his paleolithic political views. Unfortunately, The Fair Practices Political Commission let him off with a warning that if he doesn't shape up, he'll have to pay a small fine. A triumph, to be sure, but we knew we couldn't really make a story out of that.

But then we realized that Kreep wasn't the real problem. The real problem was the seething mass of vote-casting vipers who made him a judge. Kreep wasn't just a lone hatemonger, spewing his vile poison across the landscape through pamphlets and robocalls. He was clearly a member of an underground movement that had quietly grown so powerful that it could actually elect one of its own to office.

Want to learn more? Read this!

Listen up, America: Judge Kreep is an agent of Conservatism! He's the kind of dirty Connie who wants to infiltrate America and bring it down from within! These Red (State) monsters are anti-American to the core: they're even trying to bring down the Constitutional separation of church and state! They've infiltrated the news media, sometimes taking over entire newspapers and TV networks. They're at work in Hollywood, churning out vile, corrupting trash like Atlas Shrugged. Nothing is sacred to a Red (Stater); in their perversity, they want to destroy the institution of gay marriage. Some of them even want to take their children out of the public schools and teach them at home, the better to brainwash them against America.

You just can't trust them, unless you're trusting them to betray you at every turn!

Conservatism, we have found, is the creation of intellectual Jews: Irving Kristol, Norman Podhoretz, etc. It found early political implementers in Jews like Henry Kissinger and James Schlesinger. These men, strangers to the American principles of community and charity, conspired to take control of the world by any means necessary: economic or military. They toppled governments in Central America and Asia in the name of their nightmare political philosophy, asserting the good of the individual over all.

We have been doing research, and we have compiled a list of names, a list of over 200 members of San Diego government with ties to the Conservative Party. The time has come to act, San Diego. We must root out these filthy Connies before they destroy everything we hold dear. Judge Kreep is only the beginning. Let these godly evildoers beware!