Crack Bust. A routine traffic stop on April 10 led to the arrest of a woman carrying 12 rocks of crack cocaine in her vaginal cavity. According to the report filed by officer Nicholas Juarez, the driver of a green 2011 Nissan Altima failed to signal prior to making a left turn. When the officer smelled marijuana, he searched the car and asked its three occupants if they had any narcotics on their persons. Tracy Morris Ethier stated that she did and withdrew from inside her vagina two baggies containing a combined five grams of crack cocaine. She and her two companions were arrested.

Missing: 241 Mariachi Players. On April 16, Coastal Bend College held their ninth annual Día del Mariachi competition. Organizers attempted to beat the Guinness world record for largest mariachi ensemble set last April in Tucson, Arizona. They needed more than 555 mariachis dressed in full vestments and had to play continuously for 12 minutes. Although the college could not afford to have a Guinness adjudicator present, they set up cameras and spread verifiers around the gym to make sure everyone was playing. In the end, the ensemble fell 241 players short of breaking the record.

Tsk, Tsk, Richie. A Duval County deputy turned himself in to Texas Rangers and confessed to sexual misconduct. At 2 a.m. on March 30, Ricardo “Richie” Garza stopped a 41-year-old woman for a traffic violation and offered to waive her ticket in exchange for sexual favors. He asked her to meet him on a secluded county road, where she performed the act. Two weeks later, the woman notified the Texas Rangers, who then began an investigation. Chief deputy José Martinez III told Alice Echo News, “I’m disappointed with the actions of this officer.”

Head-On Avoided. Police officers tricked a suspected prankster, leading to his arrest. According to the arrest report, officer Jason Childers observed Juan Laureles, 18, and Mark Buentello, 19, rearranging traffic cones “in a manner which would cause northbound and southbound traffic to collide head-on.” A foot-chase ended with Laureles in the back of a patrol car, during which time his cell phone rang. Sergeant David Valadez answered, pretending to be Laureles, and told the caller he was hiding in the brush and needed to be picked up. Buentello drove his 2004 Dodge to the intersection where officers were waiting with their lights off. Buentello admitted he was with Laureles and was arrested for evading arrest.