Its hard find a good place to drink in Chula Vista. I don't know what scheme the city planners enacted to kill the night life, but it worked. Finding a nice bar in Chula Vista is harder than finding a golf course in San Ysidro.

There are plenty of places to buy drinks in Chula Vista. Restaurants. Grocery stores. Sushi bars. But there are no true night life spots. Nowhere to stand around with good friends, listen to music, buy a few rounds, and drink a little too much.

Instead, if you want to get a drink after the sun goes down, you may be stuck at Chili's. Nothing is better than doing a shot next to a kid in a highchair. Margarita Chicken is not a substitute for a margarita. Chili's is where youth goes to die. Nothing is more fun than telling stories about the night Mary had too many chicken fingers.

Zorba's is an option. Located in west Chula Vista, it's loaded with history. Unfortunately, its patrons are loaded with history, too. They can tell you about the Truman presidency while scooping up Greek salad from the buffet. Belly dancers, corduroy jackets, and early bird specials don't exactly create a festive night out for those too young for Social Security.

If you feel like drinking in a trailer, then the Archway is the place for you. At night, the place actually looks like a building. In daylight, however, its true character is exposed. The Archway is actually two trailers linked together. It's a great place to get drunk and pray that a tornado doesn't touch down. Plus, if you want to complete the Southern experience, you can get some teeth pulled at the dental office next door. Seriously. I think we all agree that the best memories are formed next door to a dentist's office and across the street from a storm drain.

In east Chula Vista, the Brewhouse in Eastlake seems like an option. It's located right between Ashley Furniture and Bassett Furniture. That way, you can watch sofas being loaded onto trucks while you celebrate. I heard that the Toadies are going to perform there and then buy some lamps for the recording studio. Six dollar pints and 22% financing are a match made in heaven.

Some people like to head to Brunswick Lanes for a night of fun. The problem is that it's a bowling alley. Bowling alleys stopped being fun when cars started getting more than 12 miles per gallon. They have tried to reinvent the alley at night by featuring Cosmic Bowling. It's a neon lights and music. I think they forgot to watch CSI though, because neon lights illuminate germs. Nothing is better than reaching down and sticking your fingers into a ball that's lit up like a motel crime scene.

Chula Vista is a great place to live. Chula Vista is a great place to hang out and shop and eat. There are great parks and good neighborhoods. But, if you want a great place to celebrate the night life, you must head north. Chula Vista translates to "beautiful view" because with the right telescope, you can see people having fun at night elsewhere in the county.

Now, please don't bother me. It's 9:44 p.m. and I'm going to bed. That's how we do it in Chula Vista.