Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Angry bee attacks watermelon!

M. Alice:

Sponsored
Sponsored

While hefting candidate watermelons at the market, my wife said that the way to pick a good watermelon is to look for bee stings on them. "Bees don't sting watermelons." "Yes, they do. That's how they get the nectar. They sting the ripe ones." I was stunned that my wife could believe this. There are so many problems with her idea, I don’t even know where to start. Can this woman, educated in California, be used as a poster child to show how the American school system is a complete waste of money?

-- Speechless in Solana Beach

Yes. Please. We convened an emergency meeting of the Bored of Education of the Matthew Alice Society for the Protection of Members of the Cucumber Family just to handle this. Here's a recap of the minutes: Bees are essential elements in the sex life of watermelons since they transfer the particularly weighty melon pollen better than wind. But once they've served their purpose as a marital aid, bees have no particular interest in the fruits. Melon growers usually rent hives for their fields to make sure the yield is good, so the bee-melon connection isn't too strange. And some members of the cuke family have little prickly spots that might look like a bee's stung it. But that's the best we could do to resuscitate your wife's reputation.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

India Hawthorne is common in coastal gardens, Citrus trees are in full bloom

The vernal equinox is on March 19

M. Alice:

Sponsored
Sponsored

While hefting candidate watermelons at the market, my wife said that the way to pick a good watermelon is to look for bee stings on them. "Bees don't sting watermelons." "Yes, they do. That's how they get the nectar. They sting the ripe ones." I was stunned that my wife could believe this. There are so many problems with her idea, I don’t even know where to start. Can this woman, educated in California, be used as a poster child to show how the American school system is a complete waste of money?

-- Speechless in Solana Beach

Yes. Please. We convened an emergency meeting of the Bored of Education of the Matthew Alice Society for the Protection of Members of the Cucumber Family just to handle this. Here's a recap of the minutes: Bees are essential elements in the sex life of watermelons since they transfer the particularly weighty melon pollen better than wind. But once they've served their purpose as a marital aid, bees have no particular interest in the fruits. Melon growers usually rent hives for their fields to make sure the yield is good, so the bee-melon connection isn't too strange. And some members of the cuke family have little prickly spots that might look like a bee's stung it. But that's the best we could do to resuscitate your wife's reputation.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

The Digital Currency Wave Hits the Shores of San Diego

Next Article

Gilbert Castellanos, Buddha Trixie, Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe, Shane Hall, Brian Jones Rock ‘N’ Roll Revival

Grand Socials, gigs, and record releases in Del Mar, City Heights, Solana Beach, Little Italy, and Ocean Beach
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.